friends

Hey friends! I have been thinking a lot about you! I have been thinking about all the memories we have shared and the giggles we've had! I wanted you to know that I am thankful for them. I am often very forgetful. I visited a good friend from high school in Toronto and I was amazed (maybe a little ashamed) at all the stories she remembered.
I am thankful for the people who will pick up the phone when i need them. I'm also thankful for the people who can look into my eyes and make me feel loved.
In my life, I have often feel so alone and afraid, like i am never good enough for your friendship... maybe i pushed you away or hide. I am sorry if i hurt you....
I have been blessed by so many friends!
I have realized how privileged I am! There are so many lonely people in the world who have never realized what it means to be loved, appreciated, or accepted.
I will always feel in debited to my best friend, who has danced with me , laughed with me, cried with me, hugged me and everything in between. I often feel undeserving of our friendship and he would laugh at that!
I guess i also want to ask "how do we make friends? where are they?" I find that we live in a world were we can only meet people on the world wide web. I on other hand am very lucky (or cursed, the debate is still going strong!) to be an out going extrovert. Walking up to people or making conversation in the grocery store is easy for me! I have a few friends with the same personality typing and I would say the same goes for them. So what do we do with all the introverts, the shy, or just wounded people? how do they make friends? I wish I knew, but that part has not been my struggle. Letting myself be loved has been my struggle.
What I long and hope for is that all these friendships lead to community and a place where we hold on together through laughter and tears. It is soo much work but the glimmers of community in my life have been some of the best moments in my life!